How many times have I read that? I sort of qualify it when things go wrong and say, that’s okay I am enough.

When I am brave I have stepped out into the universe of online dating and had some amusing and some not so amusing encounters. The thing is, one can present oneself as being anyone and anywhere. “Just out to dinner enjoying wine with friends” when in reality they might be tucked up in bed in their P J’s watching Netflix.

I  met someone who said they were 180cm, but when I met them they were shorter than me (I am 161cm) , not that it should matter, just don’t say you’re something that you’re not, or  say “athletic build” and they are so thin you wonder where the rest of them has gone! I guess I have met people who are just not matched to me, or things are not disclosed in their profile that they later reveal in person.

for example, “My son has Aspergers and so do I, I think I’d like to go now..” Or just after we’ve placed our order for lunch” I am in therapy but I’m improving, I have BPD”

What’s that? I hear you say, dear reader, well that would be Borderline Personality Disorder! Which he explained meant, “I have a deep fear of abandonment and control issues”

Plenty of men tell me their net worth and their financial plan for retirement. They tell me about their  5 year plan and demand to know what mine is! I find discussing money a little awkward at the best of times but especially on a first date.

Then there are those who are wanting to procreate at 51! Who ask invasive questions about your fertility; no really! Ask; would I have more kids! I am 47 with three Caesarean births behind me: no way!

Or there was that time when I thought I could have found the one! He called me his gorgeous girl and even triple texted me!

My friends I fear that I can get a little too invested, the lovely tinkle sound of the dating website notification sprinkling fairy dust and romantic hopes with it. When a suitor says there’s a problem with their phone or  “Babe I meant to press send but forgot” let the red flags start waving, warning you! When they find excuses to stay in and not go out in public together be warned!

I didn’t pay attention to those red flags, so when I got a text from his phone from Kylie saying” I’m his fiancée leave us and our life alone ” I was shocked, didn’t know what to think, wrote him a lengthy email, to which he wrote another back. Then we met and he still said we were together. Later in the week he called it all off and said he needed time to decide between us! Red flags people, pay attention!

I am always hopeful, though I dip my toe into the online dating thing every now and then I figure each bad date is bringing me closer to a very good date! But am very much more cautious in protecting myself and my children because you know for them I am enough!