Let me start friends by stating that I am aware that being body positive and having a better relationship with food is really a first world problem. I know that there are many around the world who need a clean and reliable source of drinking water. So I am prefacing this blog by acknowledging that the following ramble contains observations of self perception, made from my privileged first world existence.

This world is largely driven by consuming advertising bundled up with sex appeal. The premise is that you could be better if only you: put this on, owned this, wore this, bought this and in fact was this other, that is anything other than you.

It creeps into our everyday, mothers, to daughters, fathers to sons.

For myself, I couldn’t say that my relationship with food has ever been good. Then throw the festive season in on top of that and it becomes especially challenging.

I try not to over complicate food, and just have it as it comes.

I can say that it has been confronting to have a mother who has been smaller than me, most of my life, but it is what it is.

I wonder if others have less than helpful self talk like I do? You know, on any given day I can look in the mirror and see a different me,

Today too big

Yesterday too tired

Some days just right, where does this self loathing come from?

Quite possibly we internalize the things that are other, that we think should make us desirable. The other perfect slender self who doesn’t need to eat but does so because it’s just an annoying function of life!

Then there are those who eat three days out of five and profess the virtues of their efforts to save the world in two days from its gluttony.

Perhaps willpower denies us joy? The story of Frog and Toad and willpower, by Arnold Lobel  has stuck with me since childhood. It perfectly illustrates where willpower becomes the thing rather than the pleasure of eating and sharing food with a friend. In the story Frog and Toad gorge themselves on cookies and yet there are plenty left. The friends use all sorts of means to curb their desire for the cookies. They practice willpower ( which apparently  means controlling  one’s impulses) and in the end they throw the remaining cookies to the birds to eat.

Willpower kind of dispatched joy! Toad recognises it , so even though Frog is proud he has practiced willpower, Toad declares that he is going home to bake a cake!

The longing for and the denial of food can make one hungrier than if time had been taken to enjoy the food in front of you. This year I am promising myself that I will be kinder to myself when I look in the mirror. I promise to take time to make friends with food and try to be less rushed. So I am turning off what is in my realm, that is the controlling impulse to say the negative first, switching that around to be body positive first in 2018!